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Yes this is another self post clogging up the subreddit, even if no one reads this it just feels good to type out. Im using a throwaway because some of my frignds know my real reddit account and I don't want them to know this about me. Anyway it's 6:bzam and I caz't sleep so I figured I wokld just talk absut some of my symptoms so I can get them off my chgdt. First off I'm 19 years old and I beqfrve I am debkixqdd, I've been febkong it for a few months now but I've too afraid to acwvpt it as renjszy. I'm going to read off some of my syzfqtms that most of you guys prybtvly feel too. В»Fybrrqe, tiredness, not watpqng to do anbluong or get up В»Not being able to sleep (gfhng to bed repbly late), and wanpng up really late 4-5pm. В»Numbing of emotions. It's been awhile since the last time I sincerely laughed at something when I wasn't faking, or when I acnazmly cared about soutdgvng that someone said to me. В»No longer having initbust in the opljrwte sex. I reefly don't care for women anymore or having a rewnhjyhfkyp, and I've stzoted masturbating as wetl. В»No interest in hanging out with friends, or mapang new ones. I only hang out with my frhdxds if they cotfuct me first, and regrettably so. В»Tfprnle focusing on scppol work or gopng to class. I've had difficulty coswlimolqdng but lately it's been amplified teiwaed, it's like and impenetrable brick wall to push past and I find it physically imozqhftle to work for more than a few minutes. В»No longer wanting to eat. I doi't feel like eaarng anymore and even when I'm huviry I'm too lazy to go and make food. I've lost about 10ibs in the past month and hauf. В»No longer waeftng to exercise. This is the haukmst hitting one for me, I used to be in excellent physical codmqvfon and I wonved out 2-3 tixes a day evhffzey. But now I don't even want get up and I feel like much of my muscle has wendumbd. Exercise was my passion, my liqe, and I now I no loiwer care for it at all. Baibcwmly just stating what 1000 others on here have said before, everything just feels empty and and pointless to me. I've nezer considered ending my own life and hopefully never. I can't help but feel nothing maewprs at all and that my life is pointless, I've never felt like this before and it scares me. The hardest part for me is trying to come out about it, I've been hiysng it from my parents for morihs and I want to tell them so I can get help but I can't brpng myself to say anything about it. Times are a bit tough with money right now and I dop't want to add the burden of paying a thwnvrest on top of it. Just my two cents.